"The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing. "
Zephaniah 3:17

Monday, November 30, 2009

Our Loss

As many of you already know, this past week we lost our unborn baby. I was about 10 weeks along and when I went to the doctor for my 1st visit, we could not find a heart beat and I was also measuring off of what I thought I should be. With what we called "cautious optimism" we waited through the weekend and went back in the following week to see if there was any progress in the baby's development and to see if we could detect a heart beat at that time. I can't even begin to tell you how difficult it was to "see" our baby and to be told that he or she had already passed and that I would miscarry in the next week or two. Very difficult and emotional days of waiting and a lot of pain. I have miscarried before, but it was before I had any of my 3 children. I took this one harder than the other one I think because now I have a mother's heart and I know more so how precious the life of a child truly is. Through these tough days, the Lord definitely showed up and He was completely the reason I was able to endure the loss and pain. He gave us such an incredible peace about the whole situation and more strength than I knew I had. We are completely confident in His plan for our lives and our family and nothing draws you closer to the Lord than a loss like this one. Here are some blessings that have come out of this situation:
  • The day we found out I would possibly miscarry, my sweet son announces in the car without knowing at all what is going on - "Mom, God's ways are perfect." (Which has been our memory verse for the past month, but also exactly what I needed to hear. I LOVE the the Lord used my precious first born to speak directly to my heart! So amazing!)
  • Last Sunday morning while Andrew was at Church preaching, I of course started having some major pains that pretty much handicapped me. So, I called a dear friend who lived close by to come and help me get the kiddos ready for Church. She went over and beyond what I asked her to do and took my kids to Church so that I could rest. (Thank you, sweet Fawnda for showing Christ's true love!)
  • That same Sunday, after preaching in the first service, Andrew was "told" by the deacons that he needed to go home and be with me. So, our precious Church family prayed for us in an incredible and emotional time of prayer and sent my hubby home. This was such a gift to us and even more so, it showed us how much the people of FBC Anna love us. (Something we needed more than anyone knew. :) Thank you, First Anna for all your prayers and for taking such great care of us by bringing us all the amazing meals!
  • More than anything, we have been reminded what true miracles each one of our children are and how they are more than blessings to us. I am so overwhelmed when I think about the Lord's grace and mercy on my life! I mean, look at these precious faces!!
I just love this pic! Thank you, Lord for our children! What a true gift they are!!!


Jan said...

I never have the right words to say, so I'll just say I so miss getting to laugh and talk with you everyday. Love ya!

angie said...

I love that picture too! Ang, I have been praying for you all week. Love you.

David M said...

We are so sad for you all, don't know what to say except that you can now look forward to one day seeing this precious little "A" teamer in heaven. Lean on Him, He will carry you thru this hard time of loss.